Couple lying in bed under sheets

The majority of couples in the US have sex once or twice a month, and sometimes even less. That is fine if you are both happy with that number, but chances are you would not be reading this if you were!

If you are not hitting that target, do not worry. You are far from alone and there are plenty of ways to spice up your sex life.

This guide will give you ideas on how to spice up your married sex life (or long-term partnership) and jumpstart the bedroom action.

1. Book Alone Time in Advance

This is one of the least “sexy” ways to spice up your sex life, but it might make the most difference. 

You may want your sex life to be spontaneous like it was when you were dating. But if you both have busy careers and kids, that might be an unrealistic goal. 

If it was realistic, you would be enjoying a thriving sex life right now.

Instead, compare calendars and book quality time together. You do not have to pressure yourself to make love, but you should schedule some potential sexy time at least once a week.

You could sync calendars and surprise your other half by putting something silly like “taking a trip to bone town” in their diary. 

2. Introduce Sex Toys

Many think sex toys are for single people, but there are plenty of options for couples. Trying out some new kinky devices is a sure-fire way to spice up your sex life.

If you are a beginner and have no idea where to begin, check out to get some ideas and see what appeals to you and your partner.

Clitoral devices are great for positions where the clitoris is not stimulated and cock rings are perfect for male/female couples. Flavored lube might spice up oral sex, too.

3. Try New Positions

Speaking of positions, have you tried any new ones in the last year or two?

You do not need to crack open the kama sutra and start stretching. There are lots of adventurous positions to spice up your sex life with little physical fitness required:

  • Spooning
  • Sitting upright on a couch or chair (or car!)
  • Reverse Cowgirl
  • Lotus

These are all quite normal positions. But if you have not tried anything beyond missionary or cowgirl for a while, anything new will spice up your sex life.

4. Send Flirty Messages

You might have sent dirty messages to your partner all the time when you were dating, but what about now?

Start a sexting session while you are both at work. Or, take the time to send dirty photographs if one of you is away. You could even spice up your sex life with videos and create mini porn films.

5. Venture on a Dirty Weekend

If your dry spell has been a long one, a change of location can help put the past behind you and reset your intentions to each other.

Rent a cabin with a hot tub, pour some champagne, and toast to the beginning of a new chapter in your sex life.

Now You’re Ready to Spice up Your Sex Life!

There are so many different ways you and your partner can spice up your sex life. Talk to each other. Communicate your desires and what your ideal sex life looks like.

If you do, you will enjoy a long, intimate relationship together.

Check out our other lifestyle articles for more tips and advice!